As Jews enter the first of the high holidays of Judaism, Rosh Hashanah, many prepare for the 10 Days of Repentance, or, Asseret Yemei HaTeshuvah. During these 10 days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, Jews reflect, atone, and practice teshuvah.

“The Hebrew term teshuva is a derivation of the Hebrew root for returning,” writes Samuel J. Levine, “highlighting the purpose and dynamics of a process through which humans are able to renounce and repair the improper actions that have led them astray, thereby returning to God and to their own true selves.”

Teshuvah is a comprehensive practice, not a general or vague quest for forgiveness from another. While I have certainly received a phone call in my past consisting of, “Hey, if I happened to harm you this past year, sorry about it!”, teshuvah is actually a full process of accountability. It calls for responsibility and commitment to change. To me, it is the work of transformative justice.

As the academic year kicks off, parents and guardians across Seattle fill out last-minute paperwork, pack backpacks and lunch sacks, and remind countless children to set out their clothes the night before. While adults nudge children and teenagers to grab a sweater on their way out the door, many can forget to actively check in and stay engaged with their kids’ mental health.

“Adults often have trouble understanding what students are going through,” said Natalya McConnell, executive board director of the Seattle Student Union and senior at Franklin High School. “We have never had such a widespread pandemic, and this has isolated a lot of students,” she continued, adding that many students are still in a state of crisis. That the past three years have been difficult for students to navigate is largely understood; Seattle recently approved a $4.5 million investment in the Student Mental Health Supports pilot.

Almost a quarter of Seattle parents are raising their children in co-parent or single-parent households, and the percentage of blended families nationwide is on the rise. While every household structure comes with unique challenges and struggles, some hit harder than others. Just financially, the median income for married couples with children under 18 in Seattle peaked at $237,300, but for single mothers, that number drops down to $58,600, well below a living wage in this city for an adult with children.

While information is not tracked on how many single-parent-led households are actively co-parenting, most parenting plans resulting from a divorce or separation in Washington involve shared custody agreements. Lucia Ramirez Levias, collaborative divorce lawyer and partner at DuBois Levias Law Group, said, “Our courts have generally looked at kids needing both parents in their lives, to the extent that those parents are fit and able to care for them.” The movement toward 50/50 parenting plans ensures dads are also recognized as valuable, important parents in kids’ lives.

I boarded the ferry with my son in my arms, crossing over the Puget Sound to where his father waited on the other side. After handing over our little one, I waited on the dock for the return ferry to begin loading. Back on the ferry, watching the shoreline grow smaller and smaller, I felt as though my heart and limbs were missing. My introduction to co-parenting was less conventional and rather cinematic.

In the beginning years of co-parenting, we all feel the loneliness and pain of not having our child with us every day. While the years have passed, and my son’s father and I have grown and evolved along the journey, I know firsthand just how heavy an emotional toll co-parenting can take on all.

Parents new to this world, are sharing powerful videos on TikTok conveying these challenges. One of the most immediate experiences a new co-parent has is coming home to silence.